force.

force (n) : Strength or energy as an attribute of physical action or movement


This word has been on my mind lately. Not in a negative way, but in a way that has made me look at how I handle life. I've always gone after what I've wanted with force. I've always had a high amount of energy when it came to something I wanted. 
-Moving from last chair to first chair in my saxophone section. 
-Wanting to be drum major of my high school marching band.
-Chasing after boys I wanted to be with.
-Getting back to a healthy weight and losing 40 lbs. 
-Starting my own business in my dorm room.


I dive head in. I don't look back. And I give it my all. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I've failed. I've gotten back up and pushed forward. I'm not saying every time I want something I get it. Not the case at all. Mostly when it comes to relationships or any other situation that involves someone other than me. I'm that person that takes over the whole entire group project (with force) because I can't handle letting someone else have control over my success or failure. 


This is who I am. I'm messy with my emotions. I am sometimes that obnoxious control freak. And I do try a little too hard sometimes when it comes to guys I'm crushing on. But I'm realizing, as I am with most aspects of life, it's all about balance and choices. There are going to be times I need that strength or force to go after a dream... or just to get me through a day from hell. As well as, a time when the best thing I can do is sit back and allow things to unfold. 


You cannot stop the forward motion. But you can control the force in which you take things on.