February 15, 2011

this morning...

 this morning I had a breakdown... I knew it was coming... it had been building.
I'm scared, I'm overwhelmed, and I have no idea what I'm doing after I graduate. It's something that I think happens to a lot of Seniors, but that doesn't make it easier.

I went and talked with my supervisor today (she is like a mom to me) and just allowed myself to let go of all my emotions and just cry. I told her everything that was bothering me and making me feel so overwhelmed. I feel SO much better now. We mapped out a plan, we are now meeting once a week to work on my job search (she is the head person at our college for job placement and internships). I feel like things are going to be okay, that I have someone walking through this process with me and that it's normal for me to be scared.

I've spent my whole life getting good grades and being a good student and it all comes down to this. It all ends in 101 days, and I feel like I won't have anything to show for my years of hard work. Those were the thoughts I've been having lately... and they are the kind of thoughts that don't get you anywhere. So here is to a new plan of action, a new outlook and putting one foot in front of the other and taking it one step at a time.

I'll leave you with the words my grandmother told me on the phone today..."you don't have to have it all figured out tomorrow, it will come to you when it's right, and when it's right you'll know it"

5 comments:

  1. Hey! Don't be sad, I know what you're going through, I had the same kind of feelings when I was a student in the US. My family was far away, I felt like a total stranger and I thought nothing was going to be right. I was scared because I thought I was not going to make it and guess what? With a little help, I overcame my problems and now I'm a happy English teacher! I love my job!!!! You're a very creative person and very responsible! I admire what you've done with your shop and everything! You'll be fine, trust me!
    Emeline

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, I hope you feel better! That ending message from your grandmother was great and must have made you feel a lot better! :)

    Hey if you have the chance can you maybe vote for my friends The Gromble for best new artist here? It would mean so much to me!

    http://www.ocmusicawards.com/showcase-series-fan-vote/

    thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This sounds way too familiar, I went through the same thing. I've been in college for two years now, and looking back, I worried too much over nothing. It's really not as scary as it seems, don't worry. But that's easier said than done.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've been told that life is a series of careers. If you don't like something, then try something else.
    I graduated last year and I've already tried two jobs. (Working at an art gallery, then working at a wool mill... how bizarre can you get) and I've moved on to designing knitting patterns.
    The most important thing is to learn everything you can from each experience you have. Maybe you will end up throwing yourself deeper into your business.

    ReplyDelete